With seventeen years' experience as an early motherhood Psychologist, Dr Renée Miller shares her insights into what new mums really want on Mothers' Day.
"No gift compares to words of appreciation, acknowledgement and love" says Renée. "There’s nothing quite like a beautiful card with heartfelt words". So Dads and partners, looking for ideas for Mothers' Day, this is what mums want to hear:
Thank you for carrying our child, enduring the changes and discomforts of pregnancy, and for your tenacity and strength in giving birth to our baby. You were amazing.
Thank you for thinking of our child’s well being 24/7, and for constantly anticipating what he/she might need ahead of time. I can only imagine how tiring this must be.
Thank you for nourishing our child with food, love and tenderness.
Thank you for the countless hours you’ve been barely awake tending to our baby alone at night.
Thank you for playing games and entertaining our child even though there are so many other things you’d like to be doing (like sleeping).
Thank you for pushing through your exhaustion and for being there when things aren’t easy.
Thank you for diligently inquiring or reading about parenting practices to be the best mum you can be.
Thank you for guiding me in my parenting (even if it comes out a little impatiently sometimes). I know you have our child's interests at heart.
Thank you for the mammoth adjustment you’ve made to becoming a mother, for letting go of so much of the old you, and for going through re-defining yourself as a woman and a mother.
Thank you for all that you do to make our house a home.
[Words of love…..]
[Pledge to give Mum time-out to rejuvenate, time to catch up on sleep, and time together to nurture your relationship.]
[A gift won't go astray. Just not one that's related to housework, cooking, caring for others... you get the idea]
Dr Renée Miller is the Principal Clinical Psychologist and Founder of the Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network
Mothers’ Day can be tinged with sadness and pain. For women desperately wanting to be mothers. The agonizing torment associated with assisted reproduction and infertility. Hopelessness. Self-blame. Isolation. Fear about an unfulfilled future. Mothers’ Day can accentuate this despair.
For women who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or the later loss of a child. Mothers’ Day can be torturous.
And for women, who have lost their mothers (or other loved ones), a myriad of mixed emotions may be present whilst experiencing a ‘celebration’ of their own motherhood.
Whatever your pain on Mothers’ Day, wishing you the self-love and compassion to nurture yourself, and to allow yourself to be cared for.
With the warmest of thoughts
Dr Renée Miller
Principal Clinical Psychologist