The postpartum period can be a challenging time for women as they transition into parenthood and grapple with changes to their self-identities, physiology, and bodies. In Western culture, dominant media imagery and cultural representations depict the ‘thin-ideal’, a portrayal of thinness as a standard of female-specific attractiveness. Studies have found that in the postpartum period, women continue to hold themselves to their pre-pregnancy standards for appearance, and that they feel concerned about meeting these standards. Researchers at the Australian Catholic University are investigating women's perceptions of their post-baby bodies, along with other associated factors. They are seeking 200 women who have given birth in the past 12 months to complete an anonymous online survey. If you have the time to contribute to this research, entitled "You and Your Body After Baby", please follow this link: bit.ly/youandyourbody Thank you in anticipation. Dr Renée Miller Principal Clinical Psychologist Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network In the emotional murkiness of fertility difficulties, pregnancy loss, antenatal and postnatal challenges, and new parenthood, thousands of women and couples have walked through our doors in the past five years, finding light at the end of the tunnel.
Turning five is a milestone in anyone's book. It's a time that has brought reflection and gratitude for the meaningful position we find ourselves in - helping people through one of life's most profound stages. The childbearing years. As a network of privately practising perinatal psychologists, we came together five years ago to provide a specialised service to people of Victoria who were seeking help specifically for challenges associated with conception, childbearing and child-rearing. In five years, we have expanded to service 19 Victorian locations so that people can access help without having to travel too far. We have stayed true to six core values that underlie the trust we have gained from obstetricians, gps, midwives, maternity hospitals and maternal and child health nurses. APPN's core values Competence People seeking help need to know that the psychologist is competent - that she/he (I will use "she") is informed of the latest perinatal research and clinical evidence-base, and that she has helped other people with similar presenting problems during pregnancy and/or the postpartum. We stay up to date and active in professional development activities, and coordinate five Perinatal & Infant Mental Health Professionals Networks (Armadale, Kew, Western, Northern and Ballarat) - bringing together multi-disciplinary health practitioners from around Melbourne and Victoria for professional development opportunities. Credibility The psychologist has the qualifications, specific training, and experience to substantiate her expertise in the perinatal field. This is reflected in our criteria for inclusion of psychologists to our service. In addition to our training as psychologists, we educate ourselves in the renowned Circle of Security Parenting training, and have all undertaken specialist training in perinatal loss. Care and warmth The psychologist shows a genuine concern about the well-being of clients, helping them to build their confidence and resources for managing the difficulties they face. The psychologist is warm, and easy to engage with. Compassion The psychologist is empathic, kind and non-judgemental, with a deep-seated belief in the human capacity for psychological growth. Calm The psychologist has the temperament, experience and ability to tolerate and manage big emotions, intense grief, and crisis situations. Conscientiousness The psychologist can be trusted to care responsibly for clients and babies at risk. She communicates well with medical and obstetric practitioners, and has good relationships with maternal & child health nurses to fully support new parents. She works collaboratively with perinatal psychiatrists (knowing when to refer patients to such psychiatrists). She is vigilant about ethics, patient confidentiality, reporting, and follow-up that is in the best interest of the patient. APPN's support services for new parents and bereaved parents In addition to the counselling services we offer, we curate two Facebook pages to support both new parents and bereaved parents. These pages can be found here: www.facebook.com/antenatal.postnatal.psychology/ www.facebook.com/theperinatallosscentre/ Five years on, we thank the obstetric, medical, midwifery, and maternal and child health practitioners who continue to entrust their patients to our service. Thank you to the wonderful psychologists who work tirelessly to ensure people in need are well-supported and cared for in a timely fashion. Happy Birthday APPN! Written by Dr Renée Miller Principal Clinical Psychologist Download APPN practitioner list here. If you are a health professional interested in signing up for one of our Perinatal & Infant MHPNs, please email Amanda Osciak. I’ve talked with many frazzled parents in the past few weeks. Mums and dads who have been grappling with the transition to life with a baby at home, or returning to paid work after a period of time away. Young children starting kindergarten. Older children anticipating and adjusting to the new demands of school life. Mums and dads have spoken of the flow of life being turned upside down. Tears, sleepless nights, anticipatory anxiety, self doubt and exhaustion. It has struck me that much of the stress we parents feel around these transitions comes from expecting things to go smoothly. Many of us approach these life changes with expectations that are unrealistic and unfair. Then, when we experience adjustment struggles, often trying so hard to get things ‘right’, self criticism and self blame can quickly follow. For example, adjusting to life with a baby. The antenatal classes, the reading and the daydreaming don't prepare us for the upheaval, chaos and sleeplessness that inevitably occurs. Stepping into parenting for the first time is one of the biggest transitions we make in life, and many of us expect to move seamlessly from one stage of life to the next, without missing a beat….or perhaps we do allow ourselves a period of adjustment but soon start saying things like, "I should know what I’m doing by now!"….and feeling inadequate as a result. Then there are the unexpected, unwanted events and experiences that arise…the ‘curve balls’ that life throws us from time to time and the ‘adjustments’ that are made to accommodate these experiences. Infertility, loss, illness. Interestingly, even these events seem to come with a set of expectations or judgments; “I should be over this”, “what’s wrong with me”’ “I should be able to cope with this.” Transitions, losses, unwanted experiences will continue to happen for all of us…these things are part of being human. However, there is a more supportive way to approach these experiences which can ease the associated suffering. Self compassion. There is a growing body of research behind self-compassion, demonstrating that it can be extremely helpful at times of struggle. Self-compassion is the antidote to our inner critic. It is the kindness we bring to ourselves when we feel like we’ve failed, or when we experience pain or loss due to forces beyond our control. You may be thinking thoughts like these: “I should love being a mother, what’s wrong with me?” “Why am I the only one who’s not coping?” “I should feel better by now ” “My child is never going to be happy at school” ”I hate feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing”, Self-compassion (with a deep breath and a kind voice) sounds like this: “There are no rules about how parenting should feel” “We are all learning as we go” “I can cope with making mistakes and learning from them” “Most new experiences are stressful at first. My child will adjust over time” “I can cope with not knowing what I’m doing, and can ask for help if I need to”. An important ingredient in taking a kinder, more compassionate stance towards ourselves is acknowledging that it is part of being human to sometimes make mistakes, to not be who we wanted to be, or to have unwanted experiences happen to us. Tapping into this universal experience of human suffering or struggle can be comforting and reduce feelings of isolation…”why am I the only one not coping?” becomes “we all feel like we are not coping at times.” Self compassion can be as simple as thinking about what you would say to a friend or a loved one who is experiencing the same struggle or difficulty as you, and applying your kind words to yourself. It won’t change the difficult situation, but it will remove the added pressure of self criticism and increase your capacity to adjust to whatever it is you’re struggling with. If you’d like to learn more about Self Compassion, Kristen Neff (a self compassion researcher) has a great website: www.self-compassion.org Mums often feel stressed and overwhelmed by the never ending ‘to-do’ list. When we become parents, there are countless things to be done.
Attending to the many and varied needs of our child/children, washing, cooking, cleaning, shopping, folding, tidying, arranging outings, drop offs, pick ups, medical appointments, and on it goes. In the midst of the perpetual ‘to-do’ list, mums often just keep doing - driven by the desire to feel a sense of completion. The problem is that the completion is rarely attained. We chase our tails trying to finish the list, only to bear witness to its endless regeneration. We stay up late to get things done, we permanently feel exhausted, becoming less efficient and more overwhelmed by the looming list. As a result, we beat ourselves up for not achieving what we’d hoped. With the weight of this inner turmoil, we can become more stressed, less patient, and more snappy. Then, we feel even worse about ourselves. So how do we change this vicious cycle? CHANGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS Let go of the need to experience the full completion. Allow yourself to feel satisfied by achieving one thing at a time. Change your relationship with the idea of “getting it all done”, and let yourself feel gratification from getting something/some things done. In other words, change your expectations about what is achievable. By all means, keep a ‘to-do’ list so you don’t have to store things in your head, but accept that the list is ever evolving. ADD THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS YOU DO TO YOUR ‘TO-DO’ LIST Mums are notoriously bad at recognizing and valuing the things they do achieve. Yes, these are the things that may prohibit certain other tasks from getting done, but they are the things that matter the most – attending to the needs of our children. Instead of feeling frustrated that you haven’t achieved the tasks on your list, write down what you actually are achieving. For example, “respond when baby cries” (tick), “feed baby” (tick), “keep baby safe” (tick), “cuddle baby” (tick), “talk to baby” (tick), “settle baby” (tick), “change baby” (tick)… you get the idea. “Play with toddler” (tick), “soothe toddler” (tick), “attend to sharing issues” (tick), “feed toddler” (tick), “read to toddler” (tick)… These things can take a good part of the day (and much of the night), but if you value them, you might feel less frustrated by not having achieved other tasks on list. This might allow you to feel a sense of mastery over what you have achieved, rather than a sense of inadequacy over what you have not. ADD ‘TO-BE’ TO YOUR ‘TO-DO’ Step off the ‘to-do’ treadmill and think about adding ‘to-be’ to this list. Do you set aside time to stop? Do you give yourself time to just think, sit and have a cup of tea, read, breathe deeply, contemplate, talk to a friend? It’s ludicrous to think you can just keep going, without time to relax, reflect, and rejuvenate. The other part of ‘to-be’ is to think about how you want to be. How do you want to be as a mother? How do you want to be as a spouse? How do you want to be as a daughter, friend, individual? For example, you may want to be “more calm”, “more patient”, “more fun”. To help you to make these changes, Dr Renée Miller from the Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network and Dr Nicole Highet from COPE (Centre of Perinatal Excellence) designed a ‘to-do to-be’ list for you to download and use for 2019. HOW TO USE IT
SUMMARY Change your expectations about what is achievable, and you might be kinder to yourself. Gain some perspective on what you actually do achieve, and you might feel better about yourself. Keep a ‘to do’ list to stay on top of what needs to be done, but don’t expect to get it all done, and don’t attach your self-worth to completion. Value your role as a mother and your self-worth might get a boost. Incorporate and schedule just ‘being’ so you can rejuvenate and be a better version of yourself (without guilt). This might help you to feel less stressed. Decide how you want to be, and set your intention with each new ‘to-do to-be’ list, so you can reflect objectively on your expectations in line with the person you want to be. When you’re clear on how you want to be, your ‘to-do’ might look a little different. Download our 'To-do to-be' list here The death of a baby brings profound sorrow, the depth of which can exist beyond words.
Throughout pregnancy, mothers are primed to nurture and protect their babies. A relationship has been formed. A future has been imagined. A woman’s identity has been changed. When a baby dies, mothers can feel heartbroken, lost, empty, isolated. Bereaved mums can anticipate future milestones with trepidation, commonly wanting to hide away from the world. They can feel that healing is impossible and that no one really understands what they are going through - except other bereaved parents. Bereaved mothers often seek outlets to express their grief, share their grief, and mourn their much-wanted babies. Anne Riggs is an artist whose PhD explored art practice for healing grief, loss and trauma. Anne developed Art for Soothing & Strengthening. She facilitates art-making for bereaved groups of people, clustered according to their specific shared experiences. I spoke with Anne about her Bereaved Mothers Art Groups. “I run two Bereaved Mothers Art Groups. One group works with clay, and the other with mosaic. Each medium represents aspects of women’s grief in different ways. Clay is earthy and smooth. The stroking of the clay can feel like skin. The moulding is soft and gentle. The piece each woman creates can be about her grief, her hopes, her memories – the expressions are endless. Mosaic on the other hand is a more brittle medium. There is cutting of tiles and crockery and a re-forming of the ‘broken’ into something beautiful - a meaningful piece that commemorates the woman’s loss. Both art forms provide women with something to take away and keep forever.” Along with the creative expression, is the shared experience with other bereaved mothers. In these small groups, there is a deep knowing, an implicit connectedness – whether women choose to openly share their experience in the group, or not. A community is formed, and ongoing bonds can emerge. In her gentle, affirming way, Anne guides and encourages each woman to draw out her creative expression. She takes care to provide a soothing environment in her garden studio – an environment that fosters nurturing and healing. For further information on Anne Riggs and upcoming groups please visit www.anneriggs.com To book a Bereaved Mothers Art Group https://www.trybooking.com/ZOYF Written by Dr Renée Miller Four years ago today, the Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network was formed. We began with 5 colleagues with shared backgrounds and a passion for perinatal mental health. It wasn't long before the demand for our service propelled us to join with other respected colleagues in the field. Practising in various locations around Melbourne and Victoria, this expanded collaboration meant that women, men and couples (often with babies in tow) did not need to travel vast distances to find the help they needed.
From there, our Network flourished into what it is today. A service of 16 highly qualified and experienced perinatal clinicians in 18 Melbourne locations (including the Mornington Peninsula and Ballarat). Our psychologists work tirelessly to ensure that clients are seen in a timely fashion with care, compassion, and the expertise this specialised field demands. We stay up to date with ongoing professional development - both teaching and learning, and we share valuable resources that enhance our work with our clients. We work closely with services that support perinatal clients including Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE), PANDA, Sands Australia, and Caring Mums. We also work alongside the Perinatal Psychiatry Network to ensure that the full spectrum of perinatal care is provided. Needless to say, we LOVE what we do. I feel so grateful to be surrounded by such talented clinicians who together, contribute to a caring and supportive collegial culture, and who share a deep-seated belief in the capacity for human growth. Thank you to the psychologists in our Network for your commitment and endless enthusiasm. And thank you to the gps, obstetricians, midwives, Maternal & Child Health nurses, and other health professionals who support the emotional health of perinatal patients, and who continue to recommend our service. With gratitude, Dr Renée Miller Principal Clinical Psychologist Conception, pregnancy, the postnatal period, and the early parenting years can pose difficulties for many people. Practitioners like to stay abreast of the common challenges people face, and the treatments that may help their patients with such challenges. In order to do this, ongoing research is vital.
The Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network provides an online research portal for academic researchers (in the perinatal field) to post their studies to reach women in pregnancy and the postnatal period. If you are pregnant or new mum, and you have the time or inclination to participate in a research study, your participation could further inform practitioners who work with hopeful parents, pregnancy, birth, the postnatal period, and early parenthood? Click here to see if you are eligible to participate in one of the listed studies. The latest listed studies explore emotional wellbeing in same sex attracted women, and 'baby brain' in pregnant women. Latrobe University: Emotional Wellbeing in Sexual Minority Women in the Perinatal Period Same sex attracted pregnant women and new mums Deakin University: Does late pregnancy affect women's cognitive functioning? Women in third trimester of pregnancy and women who are not pregnant, have never been pregnant and are not planning to become pregnant in the next 12 months Thank you for your consideration and potential contribution towards these important research studies. With seventeen years' experience as an early motherhood Psychologist, Dr Renée Miller shares her insights into what new mums really want on Mothers' Day.
"No gift compares to words of appreciation, acknowledgement and love" says Renée. "There’s nothing quite like a beautiful card with heartfelt words". So Dads and partners, looking for ideas for Mothers' Day, this is what mums want to hear: Thank you for carrying our child, enduring the changes and discomforts of pregnancy, and for your tenacity and strength in giving birth to our baby. You were amazing. Thank you for thinking of our child’s well being 24/7, and for constantly anticipating what he/she might need ahead of time. I can only imagine how tiring this must be. Thank you for nourishing our child with food, love and tenderness. Thank you for the countless hours you’ve been barely awake tending to our baby alone at night. Thank you for playing games and entertaining our child even though there are so many other things you’d like to be doing (like sleeping). Thank you for pushing through your exhaustion and for being there when things aren’t easy. Thank you for diligently inquiring or reading about parenting practices to be the best mum you can be. Thank you for guiding me in my parenting (even if it comes out a little impatiently sometimes). I know you have our child's interests at heart. Thank you for the mammoth adjustment you’ve made to becoming a mother, for letting go of so much of the old you, and for going through re-defining yourself as a woman and a mother. Thank you for all that you do to make our house a home. [Words of love…..] [Pledge to give Mum time-out to rejuvenate, time to catch up on sleep, and time together to nurture your relationship.] [A gift won't go astray. Just not one that's related to housework, cooking, caring for others... you get the idea] Dr Renée Miller is the Principal Clinical Psychologist and Founder of the Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network Mothers’ Day can be tinged with sadness and pain. For women desperately wanting to be mothers. The agonizing torment associated with assisted reproduction and infertility. Hopelessness. Self-blame. Isolation. Fear about an unfulfilled future. Mothers’ Day can accentuate this despair.
For women who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or the later loss of a child. Mothers’ Day can be torturous. And for women, who have lost their mothers (or other loved ones), a myriad of mixed emotions may be present whilst experiencing a ‘celebration’ of their own motherhood. Whatever your pain on Mothers’ Day, wishing you the self-love and compassion to nurture yourself, and to allow yourself to be cared for. With the warmest of thoughts Dr Renée Miller Principal Clinical Psychologist Sometimes, research confirms what we already suspect. Time out is good for mothers’ mental health. Perinatal Psychologist and researcher, Dr Hannah Woolhouse, has worked on the Maternal Health Study for nearly 15 years. This study was conducted in Melbourne Australia, by the Healthy Mothers Healthy Families research group at Murdoch Childrens Research Institute. Over 1500 women joined the study in early pregnancy, and were followed up with questionnaires after the birth. Hannah describes for us what the study found about time out in the early postnatal period. What did the study find?
At 6 months postpartum, around 1 in 6 women reported that they NEVER had time for themselves, when someone else looked after their baby. There was a strong connection between time for self, and the prevalence of depression. The rate of depression steadily increasedas the frequency of time for self decreased. The lowest prevalence of depression was 6% for women who had time for themselves once a week or more. Comparatively, the prevalence of depression was 15 % (almost three times higher) in women who neverhad time for themselves. Even after taking into account other associated factors (such as having a supportive partner),women who had time out at least once a week were less likely to report depressive symptoms at 6 months postpartum. In other words, whether women are in a relationship or not, and whether or not they have good emotional and practical support, getting weekly time-out appears to improve mental wellbeing What sorts of things did women do when they had time for them self? In the Maternal Health Study, the most commonly reported activity was doing the supermarket shopping – not something you would necessarily think of as relaxing! Other activities commonly reported were going out with their partner, having a long bath or shower, going to the hairdresser, or putting their feet up and watching TV. We suspect that what women do when they have time for themselves may not matter so much as that someone else looks after the baby for a period of time – meaning that women get a break from that responsibility, and a chance to recharge their batteries. What’s the take-home message? We know that the majority of childcare responsibilities still fall to women. The more equally partners canshare the demands of looking after a new baby, the healthier mothers will be. Ensuring that women get regular and frequent time out from the demands of caring for a new baby is a simple and effective way of promoting good maternal mental health. While this is a simple option, it is not necessarily easy, as it requires the support and input of others. Partners, family and friends play an important role in encouraging women to take time for themselves, giving them permission to take time out from being with their baby, and helping to look after the baby for a period of time. A common block for mums is the belief that they “should do it all” and cope with the demands of caring for a new baby on their own. These beliefs make asking for help difficult. In my clinical work, as part of the Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network, I strongly encourage women to challenge these beliefs, as looking after their own emotional health is one of the best things they can do for themselves and their children. Dr Hannah Woolhouse is a Perinatal Psychologist with the Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network. Hannah is located in Mornington and Red Hill on the Mornington Peninsula. Links https://www.antenatalandpostnatalpsychology.com.au/dr-hannah-woolhouse.html https://www.mcri.edu.au/users/dr-hannah-woolhouse https://theconversation.com/new-mothers-making-time-for-themselves-reduces-chance-of-postnatal-depression-51808 |
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