Parenting with insight

Being a parent is stressful. 🤯
 
It’s a mix of

👉🏻 wanting to be good at it
👉🏻 feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of it
👉🏻 feeling guilty for finding it tedious at times
👉🏻 resenting the relentlessness of it
👉🏻 fretting that we’re getting it wrong
👉🏻 missing our old life
👉🏻 worrying that we’re going to mess up our children
👉🏻 comparing ourselves to other parents
👉🏻 comparing our children to other children
👉🏻 constantly questioning and second guessing ourselves
👉🏻 facing an endless stream of guilt
👉🏻 lacking the time to reflect and introspect
 
On top of all that, parenthood presents us with 🫣

👉🏻 a mirror into how we ourselves were parented
👉🏻 a test of our patience and coping capacities
👉🏻 a reconfiguration of our relationships
👉🏻 an insight into the things we don’t like about ourselves

The reality is that parenting can be confronting and challenging. 

Yet parenthood also gifts us with

👉🏻 an opportunity to repair our pasts
👉🏻 the potential for profound growth
👉🏻 a chance to evolve and become better versions of ourselves

It's through the tough things in life that we become stronger and more resilient. 💪🏼

As psychologists who have dedicated our careers to working with new parents and parents of young children, we have seen the wisdom that can emerge through the hardships of parenting.
 
☀️ More self-awareness
☀️ Less self-criticism
☀️ Less blame of others
☀️ Repair of old hurts and past traumas
☀️ Better management of stress, anxiety, and low mood
☀️ Less reactivity, irritability and anger
☀️ More capacity to live in the present
☀️ Informed parenting strategies 
☀️ Increased compassion for the self and others
☀️ Less sweating of the small stuff (and knowing what the small stuff is)
☀️ More acceptance of the self
☀️ More acceptance of one's children
☀️ Clarification of one's true values
 
In sum, when we introspect as parents, and choose to grow through the parenting journey, we can

☀️ parent with greater insight and compassion
☀️ parent with more realistic expectations of both ourselves and of our children
☀️ parent with less guilt and self-doubt
☀️ parent with more understanding of what our children need
☀️ find joy in the smallest of moments
☀️ parent with resilience (the capacity to deal with the hard stuff)
☀️ benchmark life with values rather than comparison

The ultimate result? A more meaningful life all round, and the potential for raising emotionally intelligent, resilient children. ☺️
 
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NOTE: This series is for educational and illustrative purposes only. Cases are based on generalized scenarios, composite cases, or fictionalized accounts. Any resemblance to an individual is purely coincidental.
 
Article written by Dr Renée Miller
Principal Clinical Psychologist
​Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network